feeling 32

another year around the sun

Providence, Rhode Island

April 27^th 2025

It is a sunny morning here in Providence, Rhode Island and I’m blessed to be able to say that I have reached my 32^nd trip around the sun. Two years ago, I sent out a piece on my 30^th birthday – reflecting about crossing the third decade milestone and thinking about all that I had experienced thus far and my hopes for what was to come. Things have changed dramatically in the two years since then.

Geopolitically, economically, in public health, etc. we are in a vastly different place than we were a few months ago, yet alone two years ago. There is a pervading sense of instability and uncertainty, no matter where you go or who you are. Many people are saving money, delaying purchases, etc. because they have no idea what the future holds in store. For people in public health and in public service more broadly, every day brings a new possibility that grants and jobs may be cut, that opportunities may be limited. As a result, I am left with conflicting feelings as I reflect on this day.

On the one hand, I look back at what I wrote and see all the benchmarks I haven’t passed – still don’t have a cat, still feel like I have too much love to give that is waiting for a vessel. On the other hand – I am filled with a profound sense of gratefulness for all things that I have taken for granted. Things in 2023 that felt concrete and set in stone have been shown to be like all things in life – transient, temporary and not something that can be taken for granted. It’s important to remember that something can be a profound injustice and still serve to humble you.

At the end of the day, no matter what degrees we have, how much money or fame we have obtained – all of it will be taken away at some point. If we are lucky, it will be taken away when our life itself ends. Even typing that out feels terrifying, however true it may be. Because we are human, detaching ourselves from the material is easier said that done. Ultimately, we have needs and we have wants and its natural for us to want these things. With these things, often comes the illusion of stability.

When faced with the transient nature of the material life, what is to be done? Should we retreat from public life and live a private life, free of material possessions? Or should we double down and try to protect everything we have, at the expense of our morals and other people? Through Islam, God has taught me that neither is the answer – the answer is somewhere in the middle. We should continue to enjoy the pleasures of life, but know they are fleeting and avoid excess. Knowing that these joys are temporary and subject to changing circumstances, should only cause us to open our hearts, our wallets and our souls even more. In good times and in bad times, we should have empathy and compassion for those who are poor and marginalized. We do so, not because we draw from a well of endless wealth, but precisely because we know that well can dry up one day.

These times demand that we be even more patient, that we be even more kind, that we share, even if we don’t know if we have enough. A few weeks ago on LinkedIn, I wrote that these times are humbling for those of us who receive government grants. For years, recipients of this money have not been seen as benefiting from government money, as opposed to contributing to society.

But at the end of the day, is it really any different from receiving Medicaid or SNAP? Now that “this partnership” (as its being called) between the federal government and universities is being disrupted, we should especially have empathy and solidarity with those who receive Medicaid and SNAP. If the government giving universities money is a partnership, then the government providing people with healthcare and food is the government holding up its end of the social contract it has with the people.

Looking back on these two years, I do wish that I spent my time more intentionally. Sometimes, when you get used to certain things and circumstances; it’s easy to let time pass and not make the most of what is given to you. With these perceptions on shakier ground, being mindful of that, I’m trying to treat my time as more of a precious resource.

So, I’m spending my 32^nd birthday enjoying some takeout, drinking some coffee (Dunkin and Brown Bee – a great coffee shop in Providence you should check out if you haven’t already), redeeming a free cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, perhaps buying a book from a bookstore (it’s Independent Bookstore Day/Week) and browsing the RISD Museum (free on Sundays!). I’m enjoying the day, savoring every moment and trying to live every day with purpose and with gratitude.

Stay tuned for another post in the next few weeks.

As always, thank you for reading. And as always, thank you to Allah for the blessings.

Till next time,

Abdullah